Lysa Terkeurst is one of my favorite authors. She recently posted a saying on Facebook that really resonated with me…..”boundaries aren’t to push others away, boundaries are to help hold me together.” This month is pregnancy, infant, and child loss awareness month. If there is one thing that this journey in life has taught me, it’s the need to establish healthy boundaries regarding this subject and to hold firm to those boundaries. This is not always easy. In past posts, I have shared how sometimes even perfect strangers ask for details. I have learned it’s ok to say that I am not ready to share. People often assume that when you are my age that you just don’t want to have kids. As they ask the details, they often fill in the blanks when you are quiet not realizing you are struggling with a heavy burden. Then comes the unsolicited advice. You should try this… you should do that… you need to talk to so and so. When your friends are quiet and not talking about their struggles, they are not necessarily purposely keeping things from you. They need time to process and heal. This can take a long time. Even as they are able to emerge from this darkness and move forward, they are still processing this trauma and healing. It is important to understand that this healing occurs over a lifetime. Each year on October 15 at 7 pm there is a movement to light a candle in remembrance of our angels. For those of you that lit a candle tonight at 7 to remember your angels know that you are not alone. Your friends are quietly praying for you and respecting boundaries as you heal. 7 pm was different for us this year. We sat in a virtual meeting with adoption coordinators and matching specialists after a year of classes, interviews and completing a home study. It has been a year of quite the emotional roller coaster for us as adoption is not easy either. We hope to have news to share in the future, but for now we wait and appreciate our family’s and friend’s prayers and respect for our boundaries as we have begun a new journey….adoption.