The greatest thing a close friend of mine ever said to me after failed IVF attempts was “ I’m praying for you. If you ever want to talk about this, I am here for you; but I will never bring this up again.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief. After going through something like that or a great loss, you sometimes just don’t have answers to all the questions people ask. I had many questions of my own. I was struggling in my faith because every time I asked “Why?” God was silent. I understand now better than ever that the teacher is always quiet during a test. I know that I was being prepared for something bigger….greater. I just needed time to heal. For some people that takes days or months; and for some, it takes years. Your friend will let you know when they are ready to talk. There is no need to bring it up every time you see them. If you don’t know the person well, there is no need to bring it up at all. If it is your teacher, dental hygienist, nurse, veterinarian, hair dresser, UPS driver…….just don’t bring it up. So what do you say or do? Just be there for them. Connect with your friend over what made you friends in the first place. Talk about their interests and other positive things in their life. Spend time with them. Let them heal. This also applies to the spouse or significant other in the relationship. My husband has also revealed how hard it was getting all the questions in which he didn’t have answers. I realized it bothered him as much as it did me if not more. We’ve healed together and that made us stronger.